我，无语了。

长这么大以来，她是我第一个认识的朋友。

到现在，十根手指都数不完我们认识了多久。

她，订婚了。

最可笑的是，我竟然不知道。

小时候，我们的要好到哪里了？

我经常想着。

曾经，我和她每天休会时共吃一碗面。

因为她没零用钱。

我们如同姐妹。

可是，渐渐的长大了。大家便忙了。

或者该说，是我很少主动约好友出门。

因为我安静且忧郁的个性，聚在一起我也是静静的。

所以，和好朋友都不在怎么联络了。

但，慢慢的我也发现她只有在需要我的时候才想起我。

妈妈问我，同事问她，她是不是订婚了。

我很有自信的告诉妈妈，如果她订婚了我怎么会不知道？

她肯定会告诉我啊！

失落，失望。她竟然没和我分享。

过了好久，一直觉得很奇怪，看了Facebook才发现。

很讽刺，不过我们还算知己，算姐妹吗？

Hello!

Finally have time to rest and shop and blog, now that I've just ended my temp admin job.

Bought quite a bit of stuff and would love to share.

Cosmic Shimmer Post Earrings - Hypoallergenic Studs

Pretty pair of ear studs that are made of titanium.. 

Why titanium? Titanium is a great choice for anyone with sensitive ears because it is 100% nickel-free, lead free, and free of all other bothersome alloys. Titanium does not react to any substances that the body emits, and therefore will not rust or change colors like other metals. Many people that experience irritation from surgical steel, or even sterling silver, will find that titanium is safe and comfortable to wear :)

I have sensitive ears so these are great for me. They have various colours and designs to choose from. The seller is friendly so just ask if you have any questions or perhaps think of customising your pair of ear studs. Please note I doubt you can add on names for painted pairs like the ones above. 

I've also gotten a locket from her, in the same design as the cosmic shimmer above. 

Photos below of original designs.

I've been on the looks for carlo rino's stuff.. they have pretty collections of bags!

Room & Versatile - SGD 170, Lightweight SGD 180

OH, its the time to make your purchases cause carlo rino's having 20% storewide at all stores, counters etc in Singapore. 

Aiming on the roomy one but not sure if it fits or suits me T^T.. versatile is pretty popular too. :)

when you are alone.. when you have no one who could understand the pain you are going through..

I sought to soothe my soul through emo songs.. like..

I still could not let go.. she whom is someone so close to me.. in terms of blood and kinship..

为什么，一次又一次的伤害我？

I lost count of how many times you stabbed me from behind.. 

I'm drained and tired of life, of living.. 

Yearning to drown my sorrows and numb my pain with alcohol.. december.. i cant wait.

I saw something I want.. on taobao...

WUWAAAAAAA.. DID YOU SEE THAT?!

Hello Kitty Phone!!!!!! 

Priced at ￥68 .. excluding dosmestic shipping.

Even if you include domestic shipping.. its approx sgd 20 for first shipping only! 

If only theres a melody one or little twin stars.. 

If you are thinking of drinking starbucks, why not have a try at these secret menu. 

P.S. Please show them the recipe if they do not know how to make.

http://starbuckssecretmenu.net/

Now that I've started working do I only realise that studying is better. 

Ahhh.. miss those times. :(

So tiring.. /_\ 

But, birthday's coming and I have no plans .. no idea what to do.. 

want to have it simple but no ideas..

Anyways, Can't help but share this loot from taobao.. so pretty lo!!

Click Here if you are interested :)

Hehehehe.. I dont need birthday cakes, I want this ^ instead. :(

Sometimes, I really wish I'm normal.. 

Who don't, right?

Every girl out there wishes they have that slim figure.. ahhhh...

But, you know.. those who are fat can slim down and look great.. They have that chance, its just up to them if they want to or not, if they are determined enough. 

But for me... It's not possible.. Due to childhood past, My bones are small and its not possible for me to "look" slim.. cus the bones cant hold that FLABBY flesh.. its gonna look flabby and fat instead. :( ... There goes my dream of wearing pretty sexy clothes.. depressed..

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder.. Why must all these happen on me?

So drained and tired.. of family problems .. of life..

First of all, really sorry for the lack of updates. 

Been busy with work and stuff theres really little time to rest or sleep!

 Here's a recent photo of me. Before I fell real sick. :( 

Been having High Fever of 39.3 ~ 39.6 for 3 nights already. Hopefully not gonna be a 4th. sigh.

Coughing my lungs out as well. Got quite a bit of phlegm stuck at my throat I cant seem to get them out! Annoying much!

Anyways, been to Fullerton's ballroom for my mom side, cousin daughter's wedding. 

Got to seat at the front table with this real pretty deco on it. 

I totally fell in love with it and wishes i could take that bird cage center piece home. The roses were air flown and have very nice smell, unlike those you get in Singapore. 

Okay, spare the words and look at their menu. YUMMYLICIOUS LUH! 

Especially the dessert !! 

And im so glad we dont have to take our own food from the mid of the table like some other weddings. Gets really awkward if you are sitting with people you dont really know.. It was served to us by a waitress but kinda slow since she has to prep it nicely into plates before serving.

Just wanna share this beautiful wedding gown I spotted on sale on taobao.. 

I THOUGHT GOWNS WERE EXPENSIVE! This aint as expensive as I thought it should.

GORGEOUS RIGHT !? *-*

Lastly, hope everything's gonna turn out alright for me since it's gonna be my birthday soon. :( 

Seriously doubt so cause im afraid i have some kind of throat infection or something. If not I cant explain why I'm having continuous night high fever. Argh. And I did google search, 39 degrees fever will actually do perm damage to your brain. CRY! I dont need to be any stupid-er.

P.S. I dont know why I bought a Gucci Wallet from Reebonz but wont bear to use it. T^T Silly me.

fell sick.. on thursday 3 Oct .. withstand at work the whole day.. 

despite me having fever, nausea, giddy and headache.. etc..

Rushed home then head to the nearby clinic.. 

had to wait till 7pm before the doc came in.

I was diagnosed to be having virus infection.

And i was told that the reason why I would suddenly fell hungry like im about to faint,

 is due to my stomach having too much acid.

so tired and sleepy maybe due to the medicine..

But anyway, Im excited cus im gonna get my pay!!

It may not be much but oh well.. hehehe...

omg.. giddy as im blogging.. gosh..

STUDDED LEATHER HOLDALL BAG

TARTAN MINI MARY SATCHEL

MINI TARTAN DUFFLE BAG

**THE BROADWAY BAG BY MARC B

HEART PRINT SATCHEL

TAPESTRY IPHONE 5 HARD PURSE

TAPESTRY ZIP AROUND PURSE

BOXY LEATHER PURSE

BOO MUG

okay, so I'm browsing through TopShop's webby.. looking for wallets and bags.. and these are what I'm more fond of.. except, I dont know which one to get.. 

oh! And i  almost forget to include a selfie!

Lastly, I'm sorry this is gonna be a quickie short post because im not feeling well.. and have been tired and busy with work. In fact, im not sure if its the medicine's doing, bcus all my meds causes drowsiness.. im feeling sleepy since i woke this noon! 

•(♥).•*´¨`*•♥•(★) http://www.etsy.com/sg-en/shop/HeavenlySea (★)•♥•*´¨`*•.(♥)•

remember I said I have to get this starfish clips etc? 

I finally received them! All the way from US ♥

It's  pretty and gorgeous, I'm lost for words kay. 
Can't even tell if they are like REAL starfishes or what! 

oh, and i got to mention I really love them. properly wrapped and protected in boxes, bubble-wrapped too. was so afraid when it reached me it'd be in pieces but no!! It survived all the way from US to Singapore. #freakinghappy ♥

•(♥).•*´¨`*•♥•(★) http://www.eatdrinkchic.com/ (★)•♥•*´¨`*•.(♥)•

okay.. so i so happen to come across this webby.. 

and decided I so HAVE TO blog about it !

This webmistress is like so talented! 

Look at all the goodies she DIY-ed herself !!

What's more, you can even follow her instructions and do it on your own! 

Ikr.. SO PRETTY RIGHT! OMG. 

So many great ideas on how to DIY gifts, party stuffs and what more.. ♥

*disclaimer: 
I do not own any of the photos or images above. 
They are all taken from her site :)

Have been busy with work so im sorry if I didnt update and got you waiting..

came across this song on my facebook newsfeed.. love it so im gonna share it..

梁靜茹-無條件為你 (官方完整版MV)

And also,

me at work! teehee..

It's admin job & im totally hating excel.

It's so complexed and confusing can!

Along with all those webbys you have to login to get data and handle enquiry and what not... :<

At least I should count myself lucky it mine wasnt the call operator job. 

A new temp came in today as temp call operator. OH GOSH!

I would die if it was me.. all the difficult customers complaining. hahahaa..

But then again, im happy when i finish my job. And I mean when i complete it and didnt do any mistakes or what not. It's a good thing to learn new stuff. Talking about that, I wanna go learn new language. Like korean or thai or malay! Mummy's supportive of me since she keep saying it better to upgrade myself. heh! 

Im starting to think i should get a degree or something but Im not sure if I should go back to design.... 

my temp job only ends at the end of nov.. which means, byebye to my birthday.. which falls on a sunday... although i dont have to work on weekends.. but, doubt its gonna be a celebration with all my friends etc.. :( 

Oh, I didnt mention why I suddenly got interested in thai? Cause I have a thai colleague sitting right beside me at work and shes so pretty. OF COURSE thats not the reason why I'm interested in thai language. When i hear her speak thai .. i go "ga ga" over it ! It's like.. wow! It sounds so nice, polite etc etc etc.. you know.. 

What keeps me so motivated at work? 

My salary. hahaha.. like almost everyone else right? It's a miracle how I haven't absent myself from work. Prolly cause there are so many stuff i wanna get with my pay which aint enough! Puppies or dogs are so expensive in Singapore.. I can only dream about having one now. 

Sometimes, I really don't understand humans.. 

or ladies or girls.. I don't know.

There are times when I by chance see this girl.. 

or a certain girl..

and then I go.. emo or depressed..

I envy her beauty, her happiness and her life.

I may not know her or them..

But from the way they portray.. 

I envy them.

A lot of times, I often thought to myself.. If only I could also be like them.. 

How good would that be.. I'm not wishing for a lot.. just wanna gain some weight.

10 kg would be enough.. :( 

I don't wanna wait till I'm old and ulgy.. 

I don't deserve any love or sacrifice. 

有时候，我真的不了解人类。

或是女人，女孩。。

偶尔，有时候我会偶遇一些女孩，

或是一个特定的女孩，

让我变得忧郁。

我羡慕她们的美，快乐，幸福与生活。

也许我不认识她们，可是从她们表现出来的，

我羡慕她们。

很多时候，我常常想，如果我也能和她们一样，那该有多好。

我没有奢望太多，只想增肥。。

10kg 也好。

我不想等到我又老又丑。

我不值得被爱或付出。

------------

omg? 

I SO SO SO HAD TO BLOG THIS!!!

Look what I found :D 

STARFISH MERMAID HAIRPINS..

and more starfish / mermaid products ♥ !!

 EARRINGGGG!

NECKLACE ^ 

HEADBAND ♥ 

 ikr ikr.. so pretty!! 

In love with these starfish & mermaid stuff.. xD

Addicted to Tomorrowland ♥

Super nice can!

Teehee.. might not seem like me but,

I'm into hardrock, metal, electronic .. yeah!

:p

But, there's a problem.. I'm kinda "stiff".. hahahaha.. 

It's been some time since I last blog and I'm sorry for the slow update.

Thought I would share this webby, 

Selling Glasses/Sunglasses.. 

yes. online!! 

YOU DONT HAVE TO GO TO THE OPTICAL SHOP NOW!

What's good about this you ask?

Why am I recommending this shop in particular..

What is so good about them or their lens..

1. Scratch Protection

2. High Clarity

3. Anti Static Dust-Free 

4. Non-Smudge

5. Anti Reflective

6. UV-Protection

In case you do not know, making a pair of glasses.. especially when you have high degrees.. 

COSTS A BOMB!!

That doesn't include the transition lens in case you want to,

since it'd be better?

But here's what Visual Mass offers :) 

You can get the glasses (without degree lens) at like around $38/$39..

And with HI Multicoated lens at like around $13X..

SUPER CHEAP CAN! 

 ^ sunglasses ♥

starting of the video so kewtttt!

totally into that smashy smashy thing to relieve stress.. & you get to eat it afterwards!

HAHAHAHA! ♥

When you dont get to travel.. or explore..

watching shows like these aint that bad..

teaches you a lot :D !

OMG.. and their zoo in korea is way too cool!!!!

HAHAHA. we need to improve ours. :p #justsaying

THE RAP IS WAY TOO COOL!
Those 2 guys are so talented!!
LOVE IT LOVE IT!
They summed up everything.. HAHA!

Have been busy lately cause my uncle passed away suddenly..

he was such a good man, husband, daddy.. etc etc!!

he never flares at anyone ever. :( 

Just some thoughts going through in my mind..

What would happen.. when you put someone.. into a whole new environment or place or country..

deprive one of friends, freedom and everything else.

No 3g phones to use. 

Only 2g ones in case of emergency.

Restriction to the usage of internet.

Lights out at 10pm.

Control to her pocket money. 

Does all household chores.

And it's supposed to be for her own good. 

Not that I don't agree.. but is the above really good for one with heart condition.

I really wonder..

No one to talk to.. 

That's hell, compared to prisoners or whoever..

or even curfew.. 

Been crying.. the whole night ytd.. to sleep..

After I woke, cried again..

It's the first time my eyes were that puffy.. 

I feel as if I couldn't open my eyes.

I was given a chance to decide what I want.

To go or not to go..

But, do I really have that choice?

I doubt so.

说真的，

如果我去了，我不知道自己能不能活着回来。

把一个有忧郁症的人丢到这种环境，

连沟通都成问题。

All I know is,

I would be crying day and night.

I don't know,

What would happen to me..

I asked myself,

why did this happen to me..

I keep to myself,

All my thoughts and feelings.

And just like I knew how it was,

my family never understood me.

Never did..

I'm glad, 

At least, my daddy protected me..

He was always this silent, 

But his actions, proved he loved me. 

我又哭了。

我该怎么办？

I know, I have to go.

I don't have a choice, literally.

I envy, others..

I really do. 

My head hurts,

perhaps I cried too much.