Just some thoughts going through in my mind..

What would happen.. when you put someone.. into a whole new environment or place or country..

deprive one of friends, freedom and everything else.

No 3g phones to use. 

Only 2g ones in case of emergency.

Restriction to the usage of internet.

Lights out at 10pm.

Control to her pocket money. 

Does all household chores.

And it's supposed to be for her own good. 

Not that I don't agree.. but is the above really good for one with heart condition.

I really wonder..

No one to talk to.. 

That's hell, compared to prisoners or whoever..

or even curfew.. 

Been crying.. the whole night ytd.. to sleep..

After I woke, cried again..

It's the first time my eyes were that puffy.. 

I feel as if I couldn't open my eyes.

I was given a chance to decide what I want.

To go or not to go..

But, do I really have that choice?

I doubt so.

说真的，

如果我去了，我不知道自己能不能活着回来。

把一个有忧郁症的人丢到这种环境，

连沟通都成问题。

All I know is,

I would be crying day and night.

I don't know,

What would happen to me..

I asked myself,

why did this happen to me..

I keep to myself,

All my thoughts and feelings.

And just like I knew how it was,

my family never understood me.

Never did..

I'm glad, 

At least, my daddy protected me..

He was always this silent, 

But his actions, proved he loved me. 

我又哭了。

我该怎么办？

I know, I have to go.

I don't have a choice, literally.

I envy, others..

I really do. 

My head hurts,

perhaps I cried too much.