hard facts about life.

I don't know for the how many times I'm saying this on my blog..

It never gets off my mind. I don't know how many out there thinks the same.. but, what I want is actually pretty simple. No, I am not asking for a luxurious life, cause I know its wishful thinking. 

All I want, is a simple life.. get a decent job.. that can feed me throughout my entire life.. a simple wish.. have a happy family.. travel once a year .. like the rest out there.. who seems so happy with life and all.. But, things just seems so bleak for me.

I've lost count for how many years has it been that I haven't traveled. Cooped up in this tiny island. I know I should have learnt driving, but.. courage and whether I would even pass isn't even the biggest thing here yet. What's the point of learning how to drive, or get a license, if you don't have a car to drive. My dad uses the car often.. I won't get a chance at driving it. So what's the point of learning how to drive? :S Cars are so expensive in Singapore its a luxury, no doubt the convenience it brings about. 

Look, a 2nd hand car with 3 years left before it gets scrapped, 1600cc.. costs about $34K+ in Singapore. A heavenly figure as compared to other countries. Then, there's another issue I haven't had courage to tell anyone I kept it to myself. I realise, I can't take the train(mrt) during peak hours.. or probably bus too.. public transport where its gets too crowded cause I would suffer from lack of oxygen.. and then start to get fainting spells.. losing vision and all.. but once I get out of the train/mrt.. I get back my vision etc. 

I'm really lost at life. Its hard for me to find a job because every single interview I went, they felt I was too skinny.. Why does that even matter if its just a normal admin or office job where I do not need to face clients? Whats the point if every keeps saying im a good, responsible or hardworking girl when nobody wants to hire me !?

I just need the chance and opportunity. I hope things will go well tomorrow.. another interview again. *fingers crossed*

I really, need a job to feed myself.. so I can stop depending on my parents. Just because I'm super skinny or I suffer from MVP (heart diease), I'm having difficulty with getting a job. 

With the expensive medical fees & living expenses you have to pay in Singapore, I don't know how being alive is an option for me. 

sigh.. I really want a job.. to prove them wrong. Cause I hate that smirk and look on their face. Those who are ungrateful to the one who had sacrificed to help them.. Has it came across in their minds where did their university certs come from? 

Alright, ending this off with a selfie of me.. at Cuddles Cat Cafe.