Recently, I've been through a bit of "rough edges" in life.. It kept me thinking, even though I was reluctant to face reality. People can be so materialistic, so realistic. 

Money = fame & success. 

Without money, you're nothing. I could prolly even relate money = happiness.. but I don't wanna explain how. Everyone have their own views and opinions. Mine changed. 

I didn't used to believe money was almost everything. 

Or perhaps, it was everything. 

What's the point of treating people good or well, 

from the bottom of your heart,

when it's you that gets hurt in the end?

No one appreciates what you do.

How many out of a hundred would you see,

that would lend a hand and help someone in need when they see one.

What's becoming of this world?

It feels so cold now..

I feel no sense of humanity now. 

一点人情味也没有。

Perhaps I should stop treating people well. 

Why bother to make life miserable for yourself just for others?

我不知道自己做不做得到。

Everyone, or perhaps almost everyone bothers only when the matter affects them in some way or another. 心好寒。

我开始讨厌自己，

一点一滴。

Almost everyday,

I would miss his presence. 

I tried not to think of him,

I tried to let go.. 

But I failed.

I don't expect anyone to understand how important he was for me,

and perhaps some would find it ridiculous,

that no one can ever replace his position in my heart.

Every time I think of him, 

I cry.

Even at this point while I'm typing away..

5 more days & it would be his 2 year death anniversary,

我还放不下。

I don't know where he is now,

hopefully somewhere without pain or unhappiness..

I really miss him.. 

2 years ago, I wrote this..

and it will never change.

He meant the world to me.