First of all, Happy CNY to everyone out there reading my blog. ^_^
在这里先祝贺大家在新的一年里 - 羊年行大运，洋洋得意，财源广进，身体安康。
在这里先祝贺大家在新的一年里 - 羊年行大运，洋洋得意，财源广进，身体安康。
Nope, no ootds of my CNY outfits cause I don't feel like it. TBH, I pretty much hate taking full body photos, cause I look terrible in them..
Just shoot a lamp post, there you have it. 
Recently, I feel helpless. Because I'm severely underweight, which meant that I'm freaking skinny.. I don't look good in sleeveless clothes, which are everywhere now. I can hardly find suitable clothes, say for work or smart casual.. cause they are 90% all sleeveless designs out there.
So, I tried getting sleeveless overall.. and I thought apart from my skinny arms and legs.. I look good in it. Look, there is nothing I can do about my size.
But, I'm hurt because every single time I held my hopes up and asked my mum if I looked okay in it.. since I don't have confidence when I wear anything sleeveless.. she'd tell me the same thing.
That broke me into pieces.
'I don't understand why you buy/wear sleeveless when you know you don't look good in it. You are so skinny and yet you are just showing off your arms even more, just like what your aunt said.. you look terrible in sleeveless or shorts.'
Why don't she just choose not to give birth to me in the first place. why. Then, she don't have to go through all the pains, burden and trouble that my existence has brought.
Its not like I want to be this skinny. I'm trying hard to bring back my confidence. Telling myself its okay, its not like im anorexic or something, there is nothing for me to hide. It felt like I've commited an offence if I wore something sleeveless or short.
I just like to wear comfy clothes.. and it's quite a common sight in Singapore. No?
But she made me feel like I'm nothing but shame or I should just be hidden somewhere.. like 我见不得人。
I'm well aware that other moms would've said,
"sweetie, you look good in it. be confident in yourself."
or
"sweetie. you look good in it, just throw in a cardigan. It'll be better."
真希望我能快点离开人世。
Missing Marco more than ever. 为什么不带我一起走？
